The new express 23andMe self-serve kiosk outside DNC headquarters is receiving rave reviews from prominent Democrats:
Elizabeth Warren: “Boy howdy, I tell ya, we’re not in Oklahoma anymore are we Tonto?”
Hunter Biden: “This is a great way to see if I have another baby-momma. If my Dad bribes you, will you let me pass the next one?”
Ihlan Omar: “Now I can figure out who my husband vs who my brother is. Or who is both! Hard to keep track of these stories sometimes. Thanks 23andMe!”
Asked about the decision to install a kiosk outside DNC headquarters, 23andMe said, “Go where your customers are. Internal research showed Democrats caught in lies account for 45% of our business. This was a no-brainer.”
The move has increased 23andMe’s market cap over it’s biggest competitor ancestry.com. In response, Ancestry.com told us that it plans to open a competing kiosk inside the DNC cafeteria. They are also considering installing mini-kiosks inside the men’s, women’s and gender neutral bathrooms.
satire