NFL Changes All 32 Team Names to “The Sheep”

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has decided to rename every NFL team “The Sheep”. Goodell explained, “We wanted a perfect representation of our mentality.  We’re going to go wherever we are led, no questions asked.” Asked who the league is being “led” by Goodell pondered, “That’s a good question.  I’m not sure.  Whoever is the loudest?  Read More …

Democrats Thrilled with New 23andMe Self-Serve Kiosk

The new express 23andMe self-serve kiosk outside DNC headquarters is receiving rave reviews from prominent Democrats: Elizabeth Warren:  “Boy howdy, I tell ya, we’re not in Oklahoma anymore are we Tonto?” Hunter Biden:  “This is a great way to see if I have another baby-momma.  If my Dad bribes you, will you let me pass Read More …

Man with Two Extra Houses Complains about Homeless Problem

Bernie Sanders held a rally where he decried the homeless problem in parts of America, “we need to make sure people have rooms over their HEADS!” One attendee walked away confused, “I thought Bernie had 3 houses.  If he wants to help, why doesn’t he give one or two away?” The man went further, “at Read More …

Democrats Inadvertently Cure Insomnia with Impeachment Proceedings

Donald Trump can no longer call them the “do-nothing” Democrats.  Democrats led by Adam Schiff have stumbled upon a cure for insomnia.  The cure appears to be Democrats themselves, droning on about impeachment. 1 in 3 people report at least mild insomnia. This is no small discovery. Asked why it works so well, professor of Read More …

To Save Time, Corey Booker Advises Donors to Flush Money Directly Down the Toilet

October 2019 Presidential candidate Corey Booker took to Twitter yesterday to advise supporters to insert future donations directly into the toilet. Turns out the “Get Woke Go Broke” trend applies to politicians too, not just to companies like Gillette and Nike.   Booker’s campaign is on the verge of being out of cash. Booker is almost out of support as Read More …

Democrats Officially Change Party Name to “Hoaxes ‘R’ Us”

September, 2019 In a bold move, Democrats have dropped all pretense of honesty by renaming their party “Hoaxes ‘R’ Us” Nancy Pelosi explained the decision:  “When The Mueller Report destroyed our Russia collusion narrative, our fans didn’t care!  This made us think our fans WANT hoaxes.  If people want hoaxes, why not advertise it?” Sheila Read More …